he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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