Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
