Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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