You really coming over, don't trick.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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