so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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