a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
