She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
