Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
how does that bad decision feel?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
