Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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