WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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