Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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