Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
