it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
