Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
