he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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