We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Someone came in the potted fern
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
