Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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