..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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