thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
