I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
