I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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