Betty ford says i'm here all night
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
