You really coming over, don't trick.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think people are normalizing furries
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
