So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
