Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
