Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
