I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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