My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
