You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You smell like stripper and shame
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
