He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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