So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
