He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
