i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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