tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
