Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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