Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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