I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
