Life is so much better after having sex.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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