do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
