You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
