ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
