get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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