and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
