like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
