Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
