we made out on top of his cat.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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