I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
