belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
