I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Vodka?
Forever.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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