Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
