if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
