Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
